Turn off comments everywhere

<?php

// Post types that keep their comments (WooCommerce reviews are comments).
$keep = array( 'product' );

add_filter( 'comments_open', static fn( $open, $post_id ) => in_array( get_post_type( $post_id ), $keep, true ) ? $open : false, 20, 2 );
add_filter( 'pings_open', static fn( $open, $post_id ) => in_array( get_post_type( $post_id ), $keep, true ) ? $open : false, 20, 2 );
add_filter( 'comments_array', static fn( $comments, $post_id ) => in_array( get_post_type( $post_id ), $keep, true ) ? $comments : array(), 20, 2 );
add_filter( 'feed_links_show_comments_feed', '__return_false' );

add_action(
	'init',
	static function () use ( $keep ) {
		foreach ( get_post_types() as $post_type ) {
			if ( ! in_array( $post_type, $keep, true ) && post_type_supports( $post_type, 'comments' ) ) {
				remove_post_type_support( $post_type, 'comments' );
				remove_post_type_support( $post_type, 'trackbacks' );
			}
		}
	},
	100
);

add_action(
	'admin_menu',
	static function () {
		remove_menu_page( 'edit-comments.php' );
		remove_submenu_page( 'options-general.php', 'options-discussion.php' );
	},
	100
);

add_action(
	'admin_init',
	static function () {
		global $pagenow;
		if ( in_array( $pagenow, array( 'edit-comments.php', 'options-discussion.php' ), true ) ) {
			wp_safe_redirect( admin_url() );
			exit;
		}
	}
);

add_action(
	'wp_dashboard_setup',
	static function () {
		remove_meta_box( 'dashboard_recent_comments', 'dashboard', 'normal' );
	}
);

add_action(
	'admin_bar_menu',
	static function ( $admin_bar ) {
		$admin_bar->remove_node( 'comments' );
	},
	100
);